Blog 5: Bailey

I thought it might be good to stick with the high school theme for the second blog of this week. When I look back, high school wasn’t exactly easy for me. But one thing I remember clearly is that I’d known my best friend for ten years by the time we were in high school. Over the years, we’d become really close, sharing all the ups and downs that came with being teenagers. Alongside her, there was another person in her life who was always around—Bailey.

Bailey and I first started talking in our sophomore year. We had this elective class that didn’t have a teacher, which basically meant we had a ton of free time. It wasn’t the kind of class where anyone really had to do much work, so we ended up just hanging out. That was when we bonded over our mutual love for High School Musical: The Musical: The Series. Every week, without fail, we’d watch it in class, laughing and chatting about the show. We didn’t talk much outside of class, but that was the start of our friendship (kind of).

Fast forward to junior year, and Bailey joined the journalism class. This is when things started to get complicated for me. I was no longer just friends with my best friend. She was spending a lot more time with Bailey, and I began to feel irrelevant. At first, I was included in things, but over time, it became clearer that I was being pushed aside. It felt like Bailey was taking my place, and that left me feeling left out and confused.

It didn’t help that Bailey’s humor, which was always kind of blunt, seemed to be more than just teasing. I think she genuinely didn’t like me. She’d laugh, but I always felt like there was some truth behind what she said, and that truth was not always friendly.

By senior year, my best friend and I had a falling out. It was tough. We used to be so close, and suddenly we were at odds. It hurt because I would see them sit across rooms from me and hear them speak negatively about me. For a long time, I kept trying to fix things, thinking that maybe if I did enough, they would come around. I thought if I dressed the way I thought they'd like, or told jokes I thought would make them laugh, maybe they would accept me again.

It was around this time that I realized Bailey didn’t like me—no question about it. I mean, she even put a clown emoji next to my contact name. I wish I were kidding, but it’s still there to this day.

I told you I was not kidding.

Looking back, I can’t even understand why I tried so hard to fit into a group that wasn’t interested in having me. My best friend, someone I thought I could rely on, decided she didn’t like me for no clear reason. So, why should I have cared so much about trying to fit in when the people around me didn’t seem to care if I changed?

As time went on, though, Bailey began to realize how unfairly she treated me. We eventually reconnected, and she apologized for what happened. It was a turning point, but what I really learned from all of this was that it was okay for her not to like me.

It took me a long time to figure out why that mattered so much. For years, I had been a reflection of the people around me. I was so desperate to be liked, to be accepted, that I changed who I was to fit in. But when the falling out with my best friend happened, I stopped trying so hard. That was when I finally began to embrace who I really was.

During this time, I started discovering things I genuinely loved—like thrifting and film photography. I also became close with Brianna, someone who showed me that I could be valued for who I was, not for who I was pretending to be.

After high school, Bailey and I tried being friends again, and something just clicked. Looking back, I think she saw how much I had tried to please others in high school. She could see how much I had struggled to fit in because I wasn’t genuine. But by the time we reconnected, I had changed. I was no longer trying to be anyone other than myself, and I think she knew that.

Now, our friendship is stronger than ever. Bailey’s humor is still as blunt as it was in high school, but now I know she’s just messing with me—well, I hope she is.

Bailey and I are honestly complete opposites, but I think that’s exactly what makes our friendship so unique and strong. She’s incredibly laid-back while I’m a bit of an organization fanatic; she’s outgoing, and I’m more introverted; she’s always confident in speaking her mind, while I sometimes need a little push to be as open. Despite our differences, or maybe because of them, we balance each other out in a way that helps us grow. She encourages me to be more spontaneous and speak up, while I help keep things grounded and organized. It’s this dynamic that makes our friendship feel so rare and genuine—there’s a perfect mix of challenge and support, which has allowed both of us to grow in new and unexpected ways.

High school was really difficult for me and I’m sure it was hard for everyone. Yet, I think I made it harder on myself by constantly feeling like I had to fit in with certain people. Ultimately, it took the falling out of a friendship and the realization that Bailey didn’t like me for me to learn that I didn’t need to change who I was just to please others.

Thank you, Bailey for being honest—even when it hurt— for sticking by me, giving me a second chance to be myself, even when you didn’t like me. You taught me that sometimes, it’s okay if not everyone likes you. The ones who matter will like you for who you truly are.