Blog 3: My Mom
So many people impact you throughout your life, but the most influential are your parents. Growing up, they determine your set of beliefs, who your friends are, where you go to school, and they guide you into the person you are for the first eighteen years of your life.
Naturally, I have to talk about my mom. Anyone who knows me knows that I call my mom every day—let's be real, usually more than once a day. After my dad passed away, we became inseparable, as you might imagine. After he died, our relationship shifted from the typical parent-and-child dynamic to something deeper, more like two friends who had an unspoken understanding of each other’s pain. We both knew how hard life had become for the other and we knew that we really only had each other to rely on most of the time.
My mom has always been my biggest supporter, cheering me on through every high and low. She’s the first person I turn to when I need advice on handling a tricky situation or just a comforting shoulder to lean on. Growing up, she signed me up for every activity I could ever want and provided me with whatever was possible to make me happy. But what stands out the most is how she managed to be there for me even when she was carrying her own heavy burdens.
It took me a while to truly grasp the enormity of what my mom was going through. She wasn’t just supporting me through my grief—she was navigating a whole new life herself. When my dad was sick, she became more like a superhero, taking him to every appointment while still being a full-time mom. And when he passed away, she had to figure out how to move forward as a single parent. Yes, I lost a parent, which is one of the hardest things anyone can endure. But she lost her partner, the person she planned to spend the rest of her life with. And through all of that, she still managed to put on a brave face for my brother and me.
For a long time after my dad’s death, my mom didn’t date. But eventually, she opened herself up to the idea of love again, entering a couple of serious relationships. Sadly, none of these men ever truly measured up to what my mom deserved (or the standards my dad set). Her first two relationships ended amicably, and it was during one of them that I met Brianna, as I mentioned in my previous blog. Then came her now ex-husband—a man who, unfortunately, hid his manipulative and negative traits until after they were married.
My mom stayed with him for three years, holding onto hope that he would change. By April of 2024, she made the courageous decision to take back her life, realizing that he wouldn’t change, but she could. And so, she did.
With unmatched determination, she told him she was leaving. Yet, she wasn't only leaving him, she was moving across the country. She packed up her belongings and drove across the country to Riverside, California, where my godmother Karen offered her a room and a safe place to land. That fresh start was exactly what my mom needed. She was facing financial challenges because of her ex-husband and knew that putting physical and emotional distance between them was the healthiest choice.
During the time where she was getting the logistics move to California sorted out, I left for a short three week study abroad program to Ireland. So, when I hugged her goodbye at the airport, this was the last time I saw her before she moved to the other side of the country.
My mom moving has been incredibly hard for me. Which is evident from our multiple phone calls per day (good thing we have unlimited phone calls). But at the same time, I deeply admire her for making such a bold move. For the first time, she put her own needs first. My brother and I are adults now (mostly), and she has always prioritized us over herself. So when she told me she wanted to move, I supported her decision fully, knowing how much she deserved to put herself first for once and that she deserved to be happy.
My mom is one of the biggest reasons I decided to write this series. She inspires me every single day and motivates me to put my best effort into everything I do. Without her guidance through grief and hardship, I don’t know if I would be where I am today. As I move throughout life, if I can even embody a fraction of her perseverance and determination, I know I’ll be able to achieve whatever I set my mind to.
My mom is still in California, working hard to earn her teaching license in a new state while also exploring new passions and interests. She’s still finding ways to grow and thrive. Even though her decision to move away was difficult for me, I can look at how these decisions have altered her life. She is now free from a toxic marriage, pushing herself to new limits, and growing everyday.
Having two great parents as role models is one of my greatest blessings. My mom has shown me what it means to take control of your life when it no longer feels in your control. Her decision to rebuild her life after so much loss and hardship makes me wonder if I would ever have the courage to do the same. But knowing that she’s my guide, I feel confident that I can face whatever challenges come my way.
The bond my mom and I share is unbreakable. We’ve endured so many hardships together, each one strengthening the connection between us. My mom has faced challenge after challenge, tackling them all with such grace and strength. When my dad passed, she took on the role of a single parent—a job she never imagined she’d have to do on her own. But she handled it better than anyone could have expected, and she made it look effortless.
I know everyone says they have the best mom in the world, but I truly believe mine is. She has been a constant source of bravery, resilience, and unconditional love. She’s shown me how to face life’s toughest moments with grace and determination. Thank you, Mom, for always being there, for stepping up when Dad couldn’t, and for showing me what it means to live with courage and strength.
